But Scary Mommies are more than “just” mothers we are partners (and ex-partners,) daughters, sisters, friends… and we need a space to talk about things other than the kids. We are Scary Mommies, millions of unique women, united by motherhood. This is so weird but I’m totally sharing it with my friends who have teenagers. As long as he is a cat, I need to give him space and tend to him when he needs something. He won’t be the puppy that licks you and stays under your feet all the time, but the aloofness and arrogance go away. Therapist: And don’t worry, eventually he will turn back into a dog. If I think about him as a cat instead of a puppy, I’ll have a better idea of how to interact with him. Me: *imaginary lightbulb dings over my head* My son is a cat! I get it now. Occasionally, they hiss at you for no apparent reason and pounce off into the next room. Every once in a while, they grace you with their presence and they really only interact with you when they need something. Then, one day you turn around and you have a cat. The puppy is excited to see you, follows you everywhere, licks you, jumps on you, snuggles with you and needs you to feed him and take him outside. I don’t know who came up with this originally, but I like to use it. Therapist: I have a metaphor that I think will help you. Me: But before all that, what do I do with him now? He spends so much time in his room and he doesn’t tell me anything about school or stuff he’s doing, how am I supposed to know what’s going on with him? Therapist: When the school starts calling you because he’s causing trouble, cheating, getting into fights, or the police call because they have him, or you start smelling weed in his room or clothes, that’s when you get involved. But I need to know how to deal with him.Īlso Me: And when should I be concerned that he’s moved beyond normal stuff and into trouble? I also know that my “cool” status disappeared the second he became a teenager. Me: I know teenagers are moody and concerned with what other people think of them. My next appointment with her went like this: So, I decided to ask my therapist for advice. I needed a new game plan if he was going to make it to 14. Recently, after a long basketball tournament weekend that brought out all the emotions, I realized my mommy superpowers of healing and consoling were gone. I don’t know what to do – or not do - with him. He used to be my fun little buddy but is now a gangly, reclusive kid with a mustache. I have a 13-year-old son who is currently frustrating me.
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